| About as subtle as an earthquake, I know. |
[May. 30th, 2008|02:55 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  nauseated/distressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | my mistakes were made for you - the last shadow puppets | ] |
im upset with myself.
no one else to blame for this.
i had such the oppertunity,
and i blew it. big time.
i can't believe i just stood there and did nothing.
actually, i pretty much ran the other way.
feet away, and NOTHING.
i could hardy look in the general direction, i was so paniced.
i think i've figured it out.
whenever the thought of meeting occured
i got terrified and i think secretly wished it wouldnt happen.
i think i've always known i wouldnt have the guts.
and i feel like i was afraid because once it's happened, it's happened.
and the likely outcome was a friendly chat. and thats all.
and without the occurance, i could continue to dream.
so now the worst has happened,
i watched him drive away.
any chance i might have had,
i'll never know.
but at least the gig was good fun.
yes? it's been a draining 26 hours. |
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| Im one card short of a full deck |
[May. 27th, 2008|08:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | QUEEN | ] |
cabin fever. thats the word im looking for.
if i don't get some outside human contact soon,
im going to fucking loose it.
compleatly.
im going slightly mad. |
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[May. 7th, 2008|12:14 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | tick of time - the kooks | ] |
i'm not gonna lie.
i saw tim burton and helena bonham carter
walking down the streets of london with their two kids today.
it was like my favorite.
i was in a bus going by though, so no contact.
i wouldn't have wanted to interrupt family time anyway.
that's just not cool, i feel.
but i was just so stoked to see them pass by.
i just like him so much.
his wisdom is all in his hair.
( Neatsie Pants ) |
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| perhaps fuck off might be to kind |
[Apr. 7th, 2008|12:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | this house is a circus- the arctic monkeys | ] |
4.4.08
a couple of days ago we all decided to go to the BBC, where they record the johnathan ross show, where David Tennant was guest staring that night. and also radiohead was guest band. so we went to see if we could get in, which they apparently do sometimes if others didnt show up, and they need to fill seats. so we got there early to hang around, see what the stats were, and hopefully run into david and get him to marry both stella and myself. after many a hours hanging round those parts, and stella being the only one brave enough to ask around a few times and places if there were extra seats, she was sadly told that the show had been recorded the previous night. and then she wouldnt even tell me till later that night that she was told that. it was all bad. but it wasnt that bad. there was a lot of people to watch.
great story right? long and confussing? yes, im sure of it.
the F does not work most times, so if i dont catch that ones missing, bare with me.
pubs. yes. and some funny stories along with it.
stella and i decided to go pubbing for a few pints, and some lemonade. you know how we roll. and along they way we 'met' this guy. and by meet, i mean that he yelled 'hey ladies, lets go to the nearest pub and get drunk." which he clearly already was. so then he followed us and we talked a bit. harmless, perhaps even nice, apparently loves americans, but totally wasted. so then we come upon stella and mines original destination, coincidently the next nearest pub. which i call the 'cockles bar'. we decide what the hell. we were going there anyways. so he buys 3 shots, and then is confused to find out that stella wont drink one of them (she doesnt drink(thus the lemonade)). so he takes two and i one and then he gets two cyders for he and i. and by this point he doesnt look so hot, as in he is going to pass out very soon, and decided to go to the loo. it then takes him awhile, but he makes it out alive, but gets caught up in the 10 feet from loo to us with someone elses pint, and never makes it back to us. which stella and i were pretty thankfull for. so after i finish my drink stella and i decide to keep trucking. we ended up calling him 'Steve the crunk', since we never caught his real name.
next stop was the portobello gold. rather eventless except for the music that made me miss home. and the guy who kept us entertained by continuosly doing this thing with his hands and arms. one of those you had to be there and see it.
next was the portobello star. two bar tenders, the one who didnt serve me was cleaning up a table next to us and asked me where my harry potter scarf went. cause i had been wearing my red and gold one, then put it in my bag. it was all very... funny? yes, by that point it was all very funny. he must have been neat if he knew thats what my scarf was. then they closed and we went home.
that was a rather eventfull day.
Muse is on saturday. magic. |
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[Apr. 1st, 2008|07:46 am] |
i deffinatly had something to say, but i have forgotten.
last night, mark (our ghost that followed us over sea from stella's house), locked me in our bathroom. |
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[Mar. 27th, 2008|12:54 pm] |
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I've made a huge tiny mistake. |
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[Mar. 25th, 2008|08:41 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  groggy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | fiction (dreams in digital)- orgy | ] |
Today seems like it might be a propper sunny day. it's been a while, i hope it stays. hopefully this means that stella and i will finally get to go picknick in the Heath. which we've been planning for weeks. such endless adventures! picknick! exploring! reading! and then napping! |
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| tea time... |
[Mar. 23rd, 2008|04:25 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Micro Cuts - Muse | ] |
tea probbaly would have been a good idea. it helps mine throat, which is the reason im up at 4 30 in the morning. it's just not that easy to fall asleep whilst coughing and hacking. being in England has brought me back to deadjournal, for however long i can't say. i just know that i like muse so very much, and am very anxious for the 12th of april to come about. i've been listening or watching HAARP pretty much nonstop since it came out on.... monday i believe it was. the days of the week have become so blurry. pretty much the whole date actually. i know it's 2008, but the rest is a grey area for me right now. |
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| look to the stars. let hope burn in your eyes. |
[Mar. 22nd, 2008|09:53 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sick | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | supermassive black hole- HAARP (Muse) | ] |
Life Right Now:
Im in England! thats right, i made it. i've been here for nigh a month. im looking out the window from my flat and see my first snow here. i first went to Hasting where my friend's uncle's friend lives. we stayed there a week with that family, and they were all really nice and showed us around town and everything. that was an awesome start to our adventure. we were a little bummed when we left, as we had come to really like it there. but the sister of the friend had a friend in london with a flat to rent. so that's where i am currently. NorthWest London. a really amazing location just a ten minute (give or take) tube ride to central London. also, and this is probably the best news so far, stella and i are going to see MUSE. in England. it's going to be absolutely fantastic. im not really sure what could be better. well... except a castle with Mr H. but lets not get caught up with the details. they will be playing at the Royal Albert Hall, which is right across from Hyde Park. the funny part, which isnt funny in the least, is how much money we spent on tickets. i dont even want to say. just know that it was outrageous. apparently our love for Muse overcomes all else. including putting a huge dent in my bank account at probably the least convinient time. oh well... MUSE BABY!
what a bunch of wise badasses. |
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| However Tedious |
[May. 1st, 2007|06:47 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tea-tastic! | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Pictures Of Me- Elliott Smith | ] |
I'll be 19 in 3 days.
apparently 18 is supposed to be a big deal.
oops, i guess i didnt get the memo.
19 shall be better, i can tell.
im restless about life.
so much i need to plan and do.
semi list:
-finish painting nails
-clean room
-get a job with more hours
-stick to tea diet
-find a place to live in England
this friday was pretty good.
i was gonna sleep some when Jenny called me.
we ended up playing backgammon all day long.
at her house and also pergs.
we really needed the caffine.
that's it i suppose...
i think i'll skip the first thing on my list
of things to do and attempt to clean my room. |
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| Nature is a language - can't you read ? |
[Apr. 20th, 2007|11:22 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | mellow | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Vampires will never hurt you- my chemical romance | ] |
so apparently stella and i only know inside jokes.
this revelation came last night while at jenny's house with a small gathering.
anyway...
MUSE was amazing! the best night ever! or at least in a while.
stella and i were front and center.
and they played Feeling Good just for me.
and while we were in line, there was this british family next to us. they came all the way here just to see MUSE, and they all seemed really neat. and there were also these guys in front of us that seemed so out of place. they just looked like a couple of thugs, but they were amazing too. they were talking about the music they listened to and they had really good taste, not anything like one might have thought. and they were joke rapping with eachother, and at one point one of the smaller ones was on another guys shoulders rapping. they were hilarious.
so, no more shows coming up in the near future.
actaully stella wants me to go to LA on may 4th for an Ima Robot show
but it being my birthday, im not sure.
plus i still dont really care for LA.
and Blake wants me to go to a Decemberists show.
i dont even have there new cd though.
so im not sure about that either.
alright,
well i need to get my day started.
yes, started. |
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[Apr. 8th, 2007|10:51 pm] |
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i just had the most depressing night in pretty much forever. it included my brother and i talking and i cant even talk about it im so drained. and tomorrow is MUSE! which is always exciting. right? RIGHT! plus i told magical stella to find these fair few songs and she was like BAM and found like 40. so im excited about a bunch of new music. and a quiz tomorrow morning i havent studied for at all. but then it's MUSE so it doesnt even matter. and the nails i spent forever growing to be all classy are gone. because thats how i roll and i hate it. all i need to realize is that life could be worse. and that will help me to keep on truckin. |
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[Mar. 25th, 2007|12:29 am] |
so many things i cannot vocalize
thoughts inside my head
a world of beautiful moments
so much goes unsaid |
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| Then i think, if I'm damned anyway, i might as well sin to make it worthwhile. |
[Mar. 16th, 2007|12:40 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | famous last words- my chemical romance | ] |
so here i am.
my energy a little less than what it was awhile ago.
i just got back from a My Chemical Romance show.
it was actually pretty good.
there background decor thing was amazing.
and they had a lot of neat affects that went on.
Rise Against opened.
and they weren’t as bad as i thought they might be.
i feel as if i could groove to them.
earlier today Hyde (my car) decided to fall apart on me.
whilst on the freeway, my power steering liquid
decided to drain out of my car.
that was pretty scary.
tomorrow holds promises of harry potter for me and others. |
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[Mar. 9th, 2007|02:03 pm] |
post script
CSI is the love of my life once again. |
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| i just don't care if it's real, that won't change how it feels. |
[Mar. 7th, 2007|09:47 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  a wee bit upset | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the power of love- draco and the malfoys (heck yes) | ] |
.
..
...
Chase your dreams away
Glass needles in the hay
The sun forgives the clouds
You are my holy shroud
~
im really sad for my mom right now.
i always seem to be sad for her.
seems like no matter what she does in life,
theres always something holding here back from happiness.
she's got a really great job right now.
making good money, setting her life straight.
and she's been offered a new place to live.
she'd be moving from a studio (no rooms),
to two rooms for not that much more money than she's paying now.
and she's really happy about it.
however...
she currently lives right next to her boyfriend
and due to the lack of time she's had for him (or anybody)recently
and the fact that she wants to move,
he's really bummed and thinks he's loosing her.
i wish i knew how to help.
i just really wish she could be alright for once.
school has been kinda lame.
although i have a class with corynn so that makes things better.
we sit in astronomy and talk about harry potter
and how JK Rowling must have taken a lot of main names from the stars.
i saw Ima Robot this last weekend.
it was neat. as always.
i also recieved mu Muse ticket today.
im excited about that.
seeing as it's ten o'clock
that signals me that it's time for reading.
and then bed.
for tomorrow the sun shall rise and so must i.
299 days till i move to England
127 days till Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
57 days till my birthday
post script
irish movie fest:
Sun March 18
11am - 6pm
forum 450
Cabrillo
i am thankfull for the life i live.
~
Chase your dreams away
Glass needles in the hay
The sun forgives the clouds
You are my holy shroud
...
..
. |
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| this is the last time I'll forget you ... i wish i could. |
[Feb. 7th, 2007|09:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  geeky | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | nadie más que tú - ricky martin | ] |
spring session at cabrillo started this week.
im taking:
astronomy (lecture and lab)
math
and ballet
my tuesdays are really long.
8:00-9:30am ballet
12:45-3:15pm math
7:30-10:45pm astronomy lab
hopefully all goes well.
i got a B in my spanish class.
i now have three applications from different places.
now i just need to fill them out and take them back.
i also made a resume. all professional like.
i really need a consistent job.
a consistent pay check.
my savings account isnt growing as i wish it would.
i need to be putting money in it more often.
im gonna need a decent amount before i can move to england.
little under eleven months left.
i wish i could. |
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[Jan. 29th, 2007|10:59 pm] |
Peter Phath died one year ago today.
i can't believe time has passed so quickly.
how has it been a year?
an entire year? |
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| I may have gone too far, I may have gone too much, too long. I'm a dull and witless girl. |
[Jan. 28th, 2007|08:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | feeling good- muse | ] |
im the worst at studying for tests.
i really wish i was one of those people
who liked school, and did well.
it would make my life so much easier.
im seriously having a love affair with this song.
and hopefully i'll be seeing muse soon.
blake just gave me about 50 rare white stripes songs.
some are live and some are covers they did.
jack white is one kick ass musician.
there might be something here in the air so
jump up and let me know when your there
baby lets shake hands |
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